I've often been caught between having to decide between doing what I enjoy the most, or what I believe I can do the best. Ideally, both of these should be the one and the same, but often they are not. Perhaps it was the environment of pediatric surgery, or more likely, the people in pediatric surgery especially the attendings, that made my experience there so enjoyable. I don't see myself as a surgeon, not quite the personality build-up for that. Yet, I did really enjoy myself this past week and will likely enjoy this coming final week. But if I'm not good at surgery, should I pursue it anyway because it makes me happy, or should I instead do what I believe I'm better at doing - intellectual medicine, versus procedural medicine?
I've faced this debate before - long before medical school. I've known that I'm a good programmer, but I didn't think I'd enjoy programming as a career. I loved science, or rather, the investigation of how things worked, but I wasn't particularly great at it. So which to choose? The selfish side of me says to pick the option that makes me happy, even if I suck at it - because so long as my attempts to gain proficiency remain enjoyable, it's a good life. The socialist in me (not sure if that's the correct characterization) tells me to do what's best for society as a whole, i.e. do what I do best even if I hate it.
Sometimes, I feel cursed by the availability of choices.
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